That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
