Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
