she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
