Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize