That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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