I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
