with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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