It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
