I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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