yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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