I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
