My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
