I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
