I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
