She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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