i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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