Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
