whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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