thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
