did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
