Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
