yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
