So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
