I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
