and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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