singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
