Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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