Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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