Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
