There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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