so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
two words...techno handjob
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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