don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
