I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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