He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
