I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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