I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
