The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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