Don't you send me to vm
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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