We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
