but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
