Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
