is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
