Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize