my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
