omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize