how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
