we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize