Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
