i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
