i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
