K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
