I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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