ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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