whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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