Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
