So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
