I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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