literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
