So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
