If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
