Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
