I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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