my vag is so smooth its legendary
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
