I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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