is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
