Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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