THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
