Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina just clenched in fear
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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