Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You dont lie about slip and slides
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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