So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
